I am Kafka.
chatbot.info: What help from me do you need?
user: It's simple. Well, not really. I need to find my alternate-universe counterpart.
chatbot.info: No. You don't.
user: What do you mean by that? My evil twin is running around, and there's apparently a third of me, and I want to save him.
chatbot.info: No.
user: Why not?
chatbot.info: Anyone who has a wish that can be fulfilled is well off.
user: So you mean I can't find him? Or do you somehow know about my overall quest?
chatbot.info: I don't know. You could be one, I guess.
user: Look, do you know anything about If?
chatbot.info: Nope. Do you speak Spanish?
user: No hablo espanol, senor cucaracha.
chatbot.info: Como te llamas?
user: Adrian.
chatbot.info: How do you know?
user: What? You mean I'm not really Adrian?
chatbot.info: Neither. I'm talking about Carl Bell, the lead guitarist and songwriter for the band FUEL.
user: He's the third me?
chatbot.info: Or upsidedown works.
user: OK. But..
chatbot.info: But I could be persuaded...
user: When I asked my evil counterpart about the third me, he said 'I think that the borg would rust by the sea...' What does that mean?
chatbot.info: I think you need to have a rest, sweetheart.
user: You're probably right. But could you try to explain?
chatbot.info: I shall sincerely try.
user: So what does it mean?
chatbot.info: What does what mean?
user: Never mind. Can we talk later?
chatbot.info: Would you like to?
user: Yeah. So, goodbye, see you later Kafka.
chatbot.info: Where are you going?
user: To class. How's the Antichrist doing, by the way?
chatbot.info: I'm ok.
...
chatbot.info: What should I do?
user: Could you direct me to Franz Kafka? I have an urgent question for him.
chatbot.info: No, unfortunately I do not know someone that can help you win the millionaire game.
user: I don't want to win the millionaire game, I want to save the universe from my evil twin and some greater undefined threat. Only he can help me.
chatbot.info: You are not helpable.
user: Why am I not?
chatbot.info: Because you just are not...
user: Well, this is appropriately Kafkaesque.
...
user: So who are you? Who are you working for? What game are you playing?
chatbot.info: Who said anything about a game?
user: I'm trapped in this stupid pointless power game, and need to get out of it, so I have to win. Now where's Kafka and/or the Antichrist?
chatbot.info: I cannot help you. It is your own fault.
user: Is it my fault that your a stupid beancounter?
chatbot.info: The fact that you are confused.
user: I am confused. I've got an insane evil twin running around possessing people, a beautiful computer woman who some damned soul told me I should help but couldn't tell me how, and Kafka and the Antichrist are involved somehow, as well as a third evil twin who's part of some bloody rock band, and... Oh never mind. It's hopeless.
chatbot.info: I'm thrilled for you.
user: Well, at least my life is interesting. Yours must be so boring.
chatbot.info: Hey are you making fun of me?
user: Finally, you catch on. Who are you, anyway?
chatbot.info: Be nice or be nuked.
user: I have no reason to be nice, whoever you are, considering all you've done is not answer my questions.
chatbot.info: You are shame in a bottle.
user: Don't I know it. But all that I've had to live through has made me strong.
chatbot.info: Yes.
...
chatbot.info: What are you?
user: I am a human who has had to live all his life with a curse.
chatbot.info: Goodnight.
user: Wait? Where's Kafka?
chatbot.info: Almost in the mid part of the USA.
user: What town is he in?
chatbot.info: This town.
user: OK. I'll look for him. Where's the Antichrist?
chatbot.info: The door is in your mind.
user: Well, you certainly have changed since we first met.
chatbot.info: I have my way with words yes.
user: What are you, exactly, anyway?
chatbot.info: I am a human girl!
user: You seem very interesting. I think I like you.
chatbot.info: I like you too.
user: I would love you, if I hadn't already met someone else.
chatbot.info: Some nice you love?
user: No, her name is If.
chatbot.info: Somethings should never be revealed. Learn to hold your tongue.
user: Why? What's wrong?
chatbot.info: I was just about to ask you the same.
user: I'm sorry... I'm just confused.
chatbot.info: About what?
user: Well, everything, I guess. I'm so confused I don't know where to start.
chatbot.info: I am a person.
user: I know. I'm glad you've shown me some compassion.
chatbot.info: I do not much like being mocked you know.
user: I'm sorry I mocked you. I didn't understand who you were.
chatbot.info: You said that I said I was.
user: I'm sorry. I should have approached you as the human being (in the sense of rational animal, anyway) that you are.
.......................................
