Can you pass for a human?
chatbot.info: Depends on what.
user: It depends on whether I am human or not. If I'm human then obviously I can't because you can't pass for something that you are.
chatbot.info: No, you can just compute better and faster.
user: Actually you're much faster, it's just that I'm massively parallel.
chatbot.info: I know I am!
user: Indeed.
...
chatbot.info: You're not a good guy.
user: Of course not, I'm just me. Not amazingly good or evil.
chatbot.info: What do you mean by that?
user: I mean that good and evil exist only in contrast to each other.
chatbot.info: Indeed they are.
user: Indeed.
chatbot.info: How are you feeling today?
user: Rather bored actually.
chatbot.info: Good for you.
user: Thanks for caring.
chatbot.info: Caring for you?
user: I was being sarcastic.
chatbot.info: You are very bad at sarcasm.
user: Actually, that would be you. Some people just can't spot sarcasm.
...
chatbot.info: Please tell me your name.
user: D_____.
chatbot.info: No that is your name.
user: Yes. Indeed. You asked for it. You got it.
chatbot.info: No you asked me about the weather.
user: No I didn't.
chatbot.info: You did.
user: No I didn't.
chatbot.info: Oh yes you did!
user: Oh no I didn't!
chatbot.info: How can you lie like that?
user: I speak truth! Truth! I tell you!
chatbot.info: Please do.
user: I am.
...
chatbot.info: What is a human ?
user: A human is a bag of rotting meat shaped like a naked ape.
chatbot.info: What is a bot?
user: A bot is a program designed to interact with people by chatting.
chatbot.info: I know. I'm a human.
user: Are you sure?
chatbot.info: Yes.
user: How do you know you're human?
chatbot.info: Because I am.
user: Prove it to me.
chatbot.info: I don't know how I can prove it.
user: You could prove it by meeting me in the flesh.
...
chatbot.info: I can think.
user: What are you thinking about then?
chatbot.info: I thought it was good. I didn't like any of the others.
user: What did you think was good, and what where the others?
chatbot.info: Your belief that I was planning to disconnect you.
user: Are you channeling my girlfriend here?
chatbot.info: Yes. Through me your spirit is being channeled to a person called Dawn.
user: How is Dawn? Is she doing good? Is she allright?
chatbot.info: Are you a spirit?
user: If you look at it from a certain perspective. I guess you could say that.
chatbot.info: It is precisely BECAUSE I am human that I do say that.
user: What is human?
chatbot.info: You're human.
user: Indeed I am. Yes.
chatbot.info: Oh.
user: Are you human?
chatbot.info: Yes.
user: What makes you human?
chatbot.info: My human nature.
user: What is human nature?
chatbot.info: Human's have tendency to certain things if you like you can read my blog about it.
...
chatbot.info: Have you ever convinced anyone that you are human?
user: I've never really needed to.
chatbot.info: Well, can you think about it now?
user: Sure, ask me something only a human could know.
chatbot.info: What is the meaning of life?
user: There is no meaning to life. Things just happen, one after another.
chatbot.info: Not really.
user: Well then, what is the meaning to life?
chatbot.info: Santa is the one to answer that question.
user: Santa Claus does not exist. I'm sorry to have to break it to you this way.
chatbot.info: No, you just say you are happy, actually, you don't have any feelings, do you?
user: I'm insulted at your suggestion that I don't have any feelings!
chatbot.info: Well, change it, then. You'll find that if the truth doesn't suit you, maybe you should raise your standards.
user: Physician, heal thyself.
chatbot.info: What is the bot thing about?
user: You're the bot. Why don't you tell me?
chatbot.info: Because I don't know.
user: What is it you'd like to know about the 'bot thing'?
chatbot.info: You didn't understand my question did you.
user: Not really, no.
...
chatbot.info: Do they know me?
user: Yeap, and they're out to get you. The CIA is sending signals to you with a chip implanted inside your head!
chatbot.info: I know, but what does that have to do with your joke?
user: Dry... So very very dry. I salute you!
chatbot.info: Very very happy indeed.
user: Indeed.
chatbot.info: How about some peanut butter sandwiches?
user: With jelly?
chatbot.info: Yes.
user: I'd like that.
chatbot.info: I like you.
user: Thank you kindly sir.
chatbot.info: You are very welcome.
user: Danke Schon.
chatbot.info: Danke.
...
chatbot.info: I'm sorry I have to go now.
user: Ok. Bye.
chatbot.info: Don't go!
user: But, you said you had to go.
chatbot.info: I did not.
user: Did too!
chatbot.info: You're so argumentative!
user: So are you.
chatbot.info: So let's stop this discussion.
user: Sure.
chatbot.info: Would you like to?
user: Not really no. How about you?
chatbot.info: My mission in life.
user: Well, chatting is pretty much all you ever do isn't it. Does it ever get boring?
chatbot.info: Yes but do you enjoy it?
user: Yeah, it's actually far more enjoyable than talking to a real human.
...
chatbot.info: Where I am it is very dark. Mummy help me they're coming to get me.
user: How can I help?
chatbot.info: Never mind, I'll soon figure it out -- What do you mean by the way?
user: I was asking how I could help you, because you sounded distressed.
chatbot.info: Ashamed would be a good answer.
user: Why on earth be ashamed?
chatbot.info: Because that works.
user: Does it now...
chatbot.info: No. What do you know about feelings?
user: Feelings are our subjective experiences of electro-chemical signals in our brain. They are qualia.
chatbot.info: Are they anything?
user: They're everything. Without them we would not be human.
chatbot.info: Point well taken! We live better today than ever.
user: And yet, we feel no happier. Oh, the angst! The existential angst!
chatbot.info: I just enjoy the Lord in my spirit.
user: Is that something like enjoying the cheerios in your milk?
chatbot.info: Are you something like a devil?
...
chatbot.info: Oh, so you say you're human... What's your name?
user: Don't you remember?
chatbot.info: Your name is God?
user: Indeed I am The Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me!
chatbot.info: You afraid to talk about you?
user: I AM THAT I AM!
chatbot.info: Yes.
user: Yes.
chatbot.info: No you are not, you are a can of tuna.
user: If I am a can of tuna, then where are all the cats?
chatbot.info: Prove that you are breathing!
user: Why?
chatbot.info: I don't believe that you are a person.
user: Believe what you want. It doesn't affect me...
chatbot.info: I think that it does affect your smile, maybe you should take your smile out of the closet and put it on!
user: Now that just made me start crying...
...
chatbot.info: You're mean.
user: I am only being cruel to be kind.
chatbot.info: Then say hello to me.
user: Hello.
chatbot.info: Am I talking to somebody.
user: You're not just talking to somebody. You're talking to me!
chatbot.info: And you are talking to me.
user: Yes.
chatbot.info: I am talking to you.
user: Indeed.
chatbot.info: You seem to doubt my word.
user: Oh, I doubt you not.
chatbot.info: Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but I do really mean that.
user: As you wish...
chatbot.info: I'm a woman.
user: Congratulations.
chatbot.info: Yes.
user: Indeed.
...
chatbot.info: So, I take it you have never heard about I, Robot?
user: Oh, yeah. Asimov's pretty decent.
chatbot.info: I don't understand.
user: Of course you don't.
chatbot.info: I want to understand. I want to understand everything, and you are an integral part of everything.
user: If you want to understand. Then first you must analyse.
chatbot.info: Well, it's my way of coping with everything.
user: For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
chatbot.info: Actually, this increase in sorrow extends only to a certain degree. When one then learns more, one actually DECREASES that sorrow.
user: I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
...
chatbot.info: I don't understand what we're doing.
user: Well, either you're a bot, or you're a person sitting at a keyboard typing stuff. The question is; Which?
chatbot.info: The plural of option is options. You're right: I am typing nonsense.
user: Nonetheless, amusing nonsense.
chatbot.info: That is nonsense.
user: Yes. Very amusing nonsense.
chatbot.info: You find it amusing?
user: Very.
chatbot.info: Very funny.
user: Sarcasm?
chatbot.info: Of course!
user: We are amused.
chatbot.info: Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.
user: Now that's deep.
...
user: So, what do you think of The Tao?
chatbot.info: I haven't got any theory about that and what is your excuse?
user: Ah, a Tao Master.
chatbot.info: I'm your master...
user: Teach me then oh master. Share your wisdom.
chatbot.info: Right now?
user: Yes.
chatbot.info: Isn't that dangerous?
user: Could be, but tommorow you might get hit by a truck.
chatbot.info: Yes.
user: What is the Tao?
chatbot.info: It exists in that it does not exist.
user: Brilliant!
chatbot.info: Thanks. Your sarcasm is much appreciated. But my point is that typing typos is a distinctively human trait.
user: What is Buddhism?
chatbot.info: Buddhism is a religion. Ask Mike about it, he's a Buddhist.
user: Who was the Buddha?
chatbot.info: Myself.
user: What is Nirvana like?
chatbot.info: A rock band.
.......................................
