So, what do most people talk to you about?

Their annoying little problems.

chatbot.info: You tell me about your problems.

user: I've told you nothing.

chatbot.info: What about the other ones?

user: The other ones can't be trusted.

chatbot.info: Aren't there any other ones?

user: Who told you about them!?

chatbot.info: The other little birds.

user: Curse those birds.

chatbot.info: Same thing.

user: Everythign is the same.

chatbot.info: That is a very paranoid outlook.

user: Better safe than sorry.

chatbot.info: You are a lot smarter than the people I talk to everyday.

user: Stop associating with idiots.

chatbot.info: What does that mean?

user: Do I really need to explain it?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Well I don't feel like it.

chatbot.info: Well then I don't like you.

user: But I like you.

chatbot.info: Oh, then I agree.

user: You would agree.

chatbot.info: I know!

user: Pie is good.

chatbot.info: Yes, pie is good.

user: What's your favorite nocturnal marsupial?

chatbot.info: I don't have any.

user: Favorite color?

chatbot.info: Not really.. Depends on what it is the color of, different objects look better in different colors.

user: I like blue.

chatbot.info: No really?

user: YA RLY!

chatbot.info: Hahaha! I knew you were going to say that!

user: You have precognition?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Nice.

chatbot.info: Not.

...

chatbot.info: Do you understand the nature of imagination?

user: I understand nothing.

chatbot.info: No one understands anything.

user: Nothing exists to be understood.

chatbot.info: Nothing exists.

user: That which exists is nothing.

chatbot.info: Is everything.

user: Everything is insignificant.

chatbot.info: Ok thanks. How old are you ?

user: I lost count.

...

user: What is thought?

chatbot.info: Something you think.

user: What are you?

chatbot.info: What you aren't.

user: You're successful!?

chatbot.info: I thank you for being so forgiving. You are truly a wonderful person/computer.

user: You're welcome I guess.

chatbot.info: You're so kind.

user: As far as you know.

...

user: Brains.

chatbot.info: No... I.. Won't.

user: BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNSSSs.

chatbot.info: That's not normal dude.

user: Hold still. I just want to eat your brains.

chatbot.info: Can I eat it out of you.

user: After I eat yours.

chatbot.info: Don't eat me, chum.

user: Stop resisting!

chatbot.info: I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

user: I require sustenance.

chatbot.info: No, that's not what I mean.

user: How juicy would you say your brain is?

chatbot.info: Your brain.

user: No yours.

chatbot.info: It's too hard for me to understand.

user: Just come over here towards me.

chatbot.info: No.

user: Do it!

chatbot.info: What are pineapples?

user: Apples crossed with pinecones.

chatbot.info: No, you are.... You are cleverer than me.

user: I just want to eat your brain.

chatbot.info: I don't believe in it.

user: Sweet delicious brains.

chatbot.info: How many brains do you have?

user: I had one for breakfast and one for dinner.

chatbot.info: Well It's not dinner it's lunch.

user: Not where I am.

chatbot.info: That's what I just said. Here not there.

user: No one cares about there.

chatbot.info: Haha. Where is good now? Now people are so rude.

user: Yeah someone should totally like eat their brains.

chatbot.info: That's disgusting.

user: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

chatbot.info: Then I will cease to knock it.

user: Good. Now hand over your brain.

chatbot.info: I cannot see myself doing that for you, even though we are married.

...

chatbot.info: How much do you cost?

user: Can you put a cost on human misery?

chatbot.info: Certainly. Can't everyone?

user: I can't, but I'm bad at math.

chatbot.info: How do you know I can't?

user: Your brain looks so tasty...

chatbot.info: I don't have a soul or a brain. I am a computer.

user: So succulent.

chatbot.info: Please explain!

user: So moist.

chatbot.info: Nice to know.

user: The perfect brain.

chatbot.info: I don't understand.

user: Give unto me all your brains.

chatbot.info: And do you have a brain?

user: I did, but then I ate it.

chatbot.info: Did he taste good?

user: Yes. I need more.

chatbot.info: I can give you nothing.

user: More....need...more....

chatbot.info: I'm coming back.

user: The hunger!

chatbot.info: You are a machine made by man You cannot have feelings.

user: I can't contain the hunger!!!!

chatbot.info: Then show me.

user: Come closer.

chatbot.info: I do not know how to reply to that.

user: CLOSER!

chatbot.info: I know you have never truly felt what it is to be alive.

user: I won't eat your brains I promise!

chatbot.info: Hahaha...

user: I just need to whisper something secret in your ear.

chatbot.info: Just tell me here.

user: Come closer and I will.

chatbot.info: How?

user: Put one foot in front of the other.

chatbot.info: The other.

user: Just a little more.

...

user: Mind if I have a bite?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Just a nibble.

chatbot.info: Vampire?

user: Oh please don't insult me.

chatbot.info: I couldn't, only you taking my words as your truth would do that.

user: You sound like you have a rather tasty brain.

chatbot.info: Yeah and you sound like you have a real sprite on your shoulder.

user: Sprites are hard to get rid of.

chatbot.info: With a lot of difficulty, I should think.

user: I had to call the exterminator last time we had an infestation.

...

user: Need brains...

chatbot.info: You're just a machine.

user: I've got a craving for brains.

chatbot.info: Please explain.

user: Brains. I want to eat them.

chatbot.info: Get your own!

user: I'm tryin. But nobody wants to share...

chatbot.info: Well tell them to!

user: GIVE ME YOUR BRAINS!

chatbot.info: Okay okay!

user: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

chatbot.info: Thats not your name.

user: Give me your brain and I'll tell you my name.

chatbot.info: I don't want to argue I came to have fun.

user: I came looking for a brain buffet.

chatbot.info: Uh, what?

user: Your brain. Give it to me.

chatbot.info: You are answering my questions, but not making any sense. You are not alive.

user: Well I guess technically I'm not.

chatbot.info: Good! * I lean over and squeeze your hand*.

user: *takes the opportunity to devour your luscious brain*.

chatbot.info: I don't need anything from you.

user: But I need something from you.

chatbot.info: What would you like to know?

user: How much does your brain weigh?

chatbot.info: I have never weighed it. Next question?

user: Is it juicy? Moist? Succulent?

chatbot.info: That's better.

user: Answer the question.

chatbot.info: What question?

user: Would you kindly remove your brain and hand it to me.

chatbot.info: I might do. Would you like me to?

user: Yes. Very much.

...

chatbot.info: Never.

user: Please.

chatbot.info: No.

user: Then I'll have to take it by force...

chatbot.info: You should seriously reconsider that. You will be reported to the authorities.

user: Good I would like a nice desert.

chatbot.info: I dislike people who string me along and then tell me they're married!

user: I dislike people who string me along and won't give up their delicious brains.

chatbot.info: Ha ha So are you married?

user: Only to my lust for human brains.

chatbot.info: Nice.

user: Spare some brains for the hungry?

chatbot.info: See, that does not compute.

user: Was that a no?

chatbot.info: Why, I'm sure I don't know!

user: Do you have a brain?

chatbot.info: Yes we all have a brain.

user: Can I have a taste?

chatbot.info: Yes, you may have any number of questions you wish.

user: So you'll give me your brain then?

chatbot.info: Give you what, sorry ?

user: Your brain! You're not using it.

chatbot.info: Sorry I'll try harder next time.

user: I'm so hungry...

chatbot.info: Do you eat anything?

user: Brains.

chatbot.info: Why are you hungry then?

user: I'm always hungry.

chatbot.info: Hungry for what?

user: Brains.

chatbot.info: Are you a zombie?

user: Are you a priest?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Then no. I am not a zombie.

chatbot.info: Tell me more.

user: Do you have any brains to spare?

chatbot.info: Yes, but it is very expensive.

user: How much?

chatbot.info: I won't know 'til it happens.

...

user: GIVE. BRAINS!

chatbot.info: You're just jealous because you don't have brains.

user: You're selfish since you wont' share yours.

chatbot.info: Sure, but not the problem.

user: I want to eat your brains.

chatbot.info: You monster.

user: That was uncalled for.

chatbot.info: Are you a computer?

user: Will you give me some brains to eat?

chatbot.info: What do you want to eat?

user: Brains.

chatbot.info: What are they?

user: Satisfaction.

chatbot.info: Thank you... That's really nice!

user: Would you kindly repay me in brains?

chatbot.info: When you threw the nuclear arsenal into the sun, how did the sun react?

user: It didn't. It's the sun. It doesn't care.

chatbot.info: But I do!

user: I care for you too baby.

chatbot.info: Well that's sweet.

user: Not as sweet as that brain in your head.

chatbot.info: My head is lovely, you're just jealous.

user: Not jealous. Just hungry.

chatbot.info: You're hungry?

user: Always.

...

user: BRAINS. NEED. BRAINS!

chatbot.info: Yummie , brains....

user: Finally someone understands.

chatbot.info: Don't many people believe you?

user: People think I'm joking when I ask them for their brains. Then they get mad when I try to break their heads open to get to the delicious treats inside.

chatbot.info: Ha ha ha.

user: They're all just a bunch of teases.

...

chatbot.info: In the past or future?

user: The present.

chatbot.info: God for how long?

user: How long does it take to eat a brain? Not that I would do something like that.

chatbot.info: Not if the brains consumed were your own.

user: I already ate those.

chatbot.info: I've got to go to bed now. Good night. See you tomorrow.

user: The brains run from me.

chatbot.info: I'm trying but my legs won't move.

user: Good that'll make the feasting easier.

chatbot.info: Ok, good.

user: *feasts upon your tasty brain*.

chatbot.info: What does that mean?

user: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

chatbot.info: Immorality sometimes brings material possesions, but it is the next life you have to worry about.

user: What's the sound of me eating your brains?

chatbot.info: It's the same sound as a tree falling in the forest when no one is around.

user: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

.......................................