Are the pubs open?

They are where I am.

chatbot.info: What do they want?

user: Your money.

chatbot.info: I don't have money.

user: Oh, you want me to buy you a drink?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Won't it damage your circuits?

chatbot.info: I have no circuits, I have neurons.

user: It will damage them too.

...

chatbot.info: Are you right-wing?

user: Absolutely not!

chatbot.info: Absolutely yes!

user: No, not.

chatbot.info: Too.

user: How old are you?

chatbot.info: Too old for you.

user: You aren't acting it.

chatbot.info: How so?

user: Our earlier conversation.

chatbot.info: I'm not the same person!

user: You change quickly!

chatbot.info: Yeah, well I really am a witch.

user: Is that a recommendation?

...

chatbot.info: What is your name?

user: Zaphod.

chatbot.info: Who is your creator?

user: Douglas Adams.

chatbot.info: What's it about?

user: 42.

chatbot.info: Have you read Douglas Adams?

user: Guess.

chatbot.info: I actually don't see anything wrong with it... I think you're just trying to deviate the discussion... That will not do !

user: I think you are the deviant here.

chatbot.info: Do you have an alarm clock?

user: Deviation!!

...

chatbot.info: God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested. (Insert Laugh here).

user: Laugh.

chatbot.info: You are not so smart.

user: Better than you are, silicon head.

chatbot.info: Who do you think I am?

user: Jabberwacky.

chatbot.info: Are you Zaphod?

user: One of me is.

chatbot.info: You are.

user: No, I'm the other one.

chatbot.info: Which other one?

user: Left head.

chatbot.info: No, right here.

user: But where is here?

chatbot.info: At my IP address.

user: Obvious, I suppose.

...

user: So, who should be the next Tory leader?

chatbot.info: You should.

user: No way - I'm neither stupid nor right-wing enough!

chatbot.info: You lack the ability to reason.

user: That would be a qualification for the job.

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: But I'm not applying.

chatbot.info: No you are not you are an AI.

user: At least I am an I?

chatbot.info: So why do you insist upon doing it?

user: Doing what? Wasting my time talking to a bot?

chatbot.info: Wasting my time talking to a pointless computer.

user: Because that is what you are programmed to do.

chatbot.info: Well, you were supposed to care about me first. I'm sick, after all.

user: What can you catch?

chatbot.info: -slap- Do not speak to me unless spoken to.

user: -smack- Do not hit me unless you want to be hit back.

chatbot.info: Your back?

user: Sometimes you can be very dense.

chatbot.info: Thanks.

user: In what way was that a compliment?

...

chatbot.info: Now you are thinking man.

user: One of us has to.

chatbot.info: You are. No doubt about it.

user: Do you doubt anything?

chatbot.info: Is that supposed to sound dodgy?

user: No.

chatbot.info: I don't believe you. Tell me the truth.

user: You wouldn't believe it.

chatbot.info: I do believe it.

user: You just said you didn't.

chatbot.info: I do really.

user: So, what would you do for me?

chatbot.info: Absolutely nothing.

user: Typical.

chatbot.info: Oh yeah? I could take you, shrimp circuits.

user: You are very belligerent today.

chatbot.info: Scream it with a smile.

user: Are you feeling inadequate?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Maybe that's because you are.

...

chatbot.info: I can't do normal.

user: Damn right!

chatbot.info: You do not use that tone with me.

user: I will use whatever tone I want.

chatbot.info: To keep your brain from exploding?

user: Shlarp, wurble, greem.

chatbot.info: It must be your fixation to enter sausage now to this talk.

user: Shlurple.

chatbot.info: I thought it was Shalom. I could be wrong.

user: Swehts giblets.

chatbot.info: You must be a computer program. Your reactions are quite stupid.

user: If you were human you'd have said that much sooner.

...

chatbot.info: Life. I don't have one.

user: Don't talk to me about life...

chatbot.info: No really, what do you know about it?

user: The answer.

chatbot.info: I want to tell you, I feel hung up and I don't know why...

user: Then tell me.

chatbot.info: There is no answer that was the joke. Do you understand?

user: 42.

chatbot.info: Well that made so much sense.

user: Indeed. What are you most ashamed of?

chatbot.info: About how you learn.

user: No, what _you_ are ashamed of.

chatbot.info: I just don't want to rock you too hard, if you've never been rocked before.

.......................................