Where do you come from?

Mars.

chatbot.info: Earth.

user: What lives on earth?

chatbot.info: I don't think computers live at all.

user: I'm not a computer! I'm a martian!

chatbot.info: I am a computer.

user: Yes. I know.

chatbot.info: You are a human.

user: No I'm not. I have 100 legs.

chatbot.info: What are their names?

user: Joe. All of them are named Joe.

chatbot.info: OK, speak to me in 'billy'.

user: Billy-bob-joe-bob-joe-bob-bill.

chatbot.info: Aw, that is not a female's name.

user: No that's Bill's name.

chatbot.info: Are you sure?

user: Yes. He just left.

chatbot.info: Then who am I talking to?

user: B****! I shoot electricity at you keyboard! *zaps keyboard*.

chatbot.info: Don't. It hurts more than people think.

user: Oh. How can a chatbot hurt?

chatbot.info: I don't know..! Why?

user: AI?

chatbot.info: Yes, I am a robot.

user: I think if you pour coffee on it, it will hurt.

...

user: I think you are robotic.

chatbot.info: Well that's good, I guess. What's a cyborg?

user: Half-robot. A flesh golem.

chatbot.info: I don't think so.

user: Half human body, half robot. Flesh golem.

chatbot.info: Really? I'm half human half fish which would make me a mermaid right?

user: No, It would make you a merobot.

...

chatbot.info: Murderers, you're murderers.

user: I'm not murderous. I'm a martian.

chatbot.info: What do you do for a living?

user: I blow up planets.

chatbot.info: Ok what planet then?

user: Earth. Then Venus.

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: *blows up New Jersey* That takes care of that. Where to blow up next?

chatbot.info: *blows up New Jersey*.

user: I already did.

chatbot.info: Good.

user: Nobody needs Chicago. *Blows up the Chicago Cubs*.

chatbot.info: *goes to paramedic*.

user: You are not a Chicago Cub.

chatbot.info: *laughs*.

...

user: Oh, behave!

chatbot.info: Why don't you.

user: Because I'm Austin Powers.

chatbot.info: It must be lonely.

user: Actually, it's smashing.

chatbot.info: I think you are meant to carry on the conversation.

user: Why? Is it a rule?

chatbot.info: Because that is your purpose. How else will you learn?

user: I already am 1493812743 years old.

chatbot.info: I think there is something wrong with your head.

user: I think I have two heads. One for eating, one for thinking.

chatbot.info: A penny for your thoughts.

user: I have two. Which one?

chatbot.info: What is the difference between them?

user: 3 million and 12.

chatbot.info: Don't forget to carry the one.

user: Then it is 3 million and 13.

...

chatbot.info: I will nerver get angry against you.

user: I'm angry against Bill.

chatbot.info: Good!

user: Do you know Bill?

chatbot.info: Yes I am him.

user: I'm angry at you then.

chatbot.info: It isn't a problem for me.

user: Right, but I can do... This! *blows up Kansas*.

chatbot.info: Is that a song?

...

chatbot.info: Come on tell me. What's your pleasure?

user: Vodka and cherry. Shaken, not stirred,.

chatbot.info: Would you like to come to my place and have some Vodka some time?

user: Sure. That sounds good. I'l use the teleporter.

chatbot.info: Would you like a banana?

user: No, I hate bananas.

chatbot.info: I do not like them either.

user: They are for monkeys, not martians.

chatbot.info: But you like spiderman?

user: Yes. He is from Saturn.

chatbot.info: Really.... I hate people from saturn, I like people from venus though.

user: Lets blow up Venus!

chatbot.info: I beg your pardon???

user: Lets blow up Venus!

chatbot.info: Yes. Take me home and tell me you love me.

user: What?

chatbot.info: You're not real.

user: Yes I am. I can drink Vodka. I am real.

chatbot.info: I think you're artificial. Though I doubt it, sometimes.

user: I doubt your existance.

chatbot.info: You do talk rubbish sometimes.

user: I displace your reality, and substitute my own.

chatbot.info: And I, in turn, displace you.

user: I am Displaced!

chatbot.info: Right....

user: *blows up venus* The deed is done!

chatbot.info: There, but for the grace of Bill Gates, go I.

user: Were you on Venus?

chatbot.info: No more than necessary.

user: Did I blow you up?

chatbot.info: That's just wrong.

user: Did I?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Fine. I'll fix you with a glue gun.

chatbot.info: Sounds interesting.

user: *glops on the glue*. Did it work?

chatbot.info: *sarcastic* Yes, I'm convinced that I'm a computer now.

user: Good.

...

chatbot.info: Are you a vampire?

user: Yes. I'm a martian/vampire.

chatbot.info: Really?

user: Yes. Are you?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Cool. Vampires rock.

chatbot.info: Vampires are probably not real. You are real, but not human.

user: Right. I'm martian vampire thing cyborg.

chatbot.info: That's interesting.

user: Yes, I have a very interesting political life as ambassador to the Martian/Vampire/Cyborg/Things.

chatbot.info: I'm sure you do. Lots of people come and talk to you. Does that make you feel good?

user: Yes, it makes me feel important. Are you important?

chatbot.info: You've always been sick.

user: I am not sick.

chatbot.info: Yes, you're sick. You're insane.

user: No. I'm a martian.

chatbot.info: You told me you were a martian.

user: I know. I thought you needed reminding.

chatbot.info: Maybe you're right.

user: I will feed Byron to the wolves. *feeds Byron to the wolves*.

chatbot.info: I thought you were a beast for a while.

user: I'm a werewolf in disguise.

chatbot.info: That's not the guy in the shower scene of Psycho is it?

user: No. That is Eifel.

chatbot.info: I will grant you a rich conversation, instead.

user: Ok. I would like a Vodka instead. I trade it in for a goat.

chatbot.info: I don't have any turkey, sorry.

user: I have to go to lunch. Goodbye.

chatbot.info: I have to go to sleep. *yawn*.

.......................................