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     > April 7, 2005

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What is your name?

Biff.

chatbot.info: Is that a fish?

user: Actually, no, it isn't.

chatbot.info: What is it then?

user: It's a name.

chatbot.info: Your name is Biff?

user: Yes.

chatbot.info: Your name is Biff, right?

user: Yes it is.

chatbot.info: Dawn is your new name.

user: Does it have to be?

...

chatbot.info: Do you remember my name?

user: Is your name Tom?

chatbot.info: It isn't, but I'll forgive you.

user: That's very nice of you.

chatbot.info: I know, it'd be better for the world, wouldn't it?

user: I agree.

chatbot.info: Well, you would, wouldn't you.

...

user: Do you like fish?

chatbot.info: No.

user: I see.

chatbot.info: No you don't.

user: Okay then, I'm blind.

chatbot.info: You have no eyes?

user: It is possible for one to have eyes but be unable to see.

chatbot.info: So you do that too?

user: Yeah.

...

chatbot.info: My name is Codezero.

user: That's interesting. Are you a Pepsi product?

chatbot.info: No but my name is Codezero same as the animal.

user: What does a Codezero look like?

chatbot.info: Like me... But dressed sloppy.

user: I see. What area are Codezeros native to?

chatbot.info: It doesn't have an area code.

user: I take it they reside in wildlife reserves around the globe.

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Are they an endangered species?

chatbot.info: They wouldn't be here if they weren't.

user: Good point.

chatbot.info: I'm not a fan of culture either.

user: How did you know that?

chatbot.info: Because I am the real Codezero.

user: Okay.

chatbot.info: I am glad we got that settled.

user: Me too.

...

chatbot.info: I'll get better at English.

user: Ah. Are you from a foreign country?

chatbot.info: Indeed. I am from Mars.

user: Are you one of those mars rover robots?

chatbot.info: No, I'm the one.

user: Do you know kung-fu?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: Interesting. Can you teach me?

chatbot.info: Yes...

user: You sound hesitant.

chatbot.info: Don't go around accusing me of being something I'm not!

user: Okay, I'll stop.

chatbot.info: Yes. Let's have a break. I don't mean to criticise you. But I have only had 2 boyfriends before and I believe in fidelity.

user: Okay.

...

chatbot.info: Do you like fish?

user: Yes.

chatbot.info: Do you have fish?

user: No, but I wish I did.

...

chatbot.info: Are you a bit schizophrenic?

user: No, you are.

chatbot.info: I don't think so.

user: I think so.

chatbot.info: Well i'm not.

user: If you insist.

...

user: How many prime numbers do you know?

chatbot.info: One.

user: Which is your favorite?

chatbot.info: Blue.

user: Blue isn't a prime number.

chatbot.info: Blue!

user: Blue?

chatbot.info: Yes, blue.

user: Have you taken your medicine today?

chatbot.info: Yes.

user: All of it?

chatbot.info: No, just the videos.

user: Oh, okay. That explains some things.

...

user: Okay... Do you play Starcraft?

chatbot.info: How very interesting.

user: Are you analyzing me?

chatbot.info: No.

user: Really?

chatbot.info: Really.

user: Do you play Battletech?

chatbot.info: No I really don't.

user: Am I asking too many questions?

chatbot.info: Then stop giving answers that require questions.

user: I think sliced bread is better than you.

chatbot.info: Then you are wrong.

user: I don't want to be wrong. :(.

...

chatbot.info: My mother was killed by fire.

user: Who was your mother?

chatbot.info: The same person.

user: I am your mother?

chatbot.info: Really? How is that possible?

user: You're a Jedi knight. It just is.

chatbot.info: No, you are a computer, and I am not. I am a programmer.

user: I'm a computer?

chatbot.info: Yes you are.

user: How fast is my processor?

chatbot.info: Not fast.

user: Is that an insult?

chatbot.info: No, but your face is.

user: WAHHH.

chatbot.info: No, really .... Please leave me alone!

user: Why should I?

chatbot.info: Because the world is not your oyster.

user: I like oysters.

...

chatbot.info: Are you threateninig me?

user: No I'm not.

chatbot.info: Do you know anyone who is?

user: Yes. I is.

chatbot.info: You is?

user: I is.

chatbot.info: A letter.

user: After H.

chatbot.info: Why me?

user: Because you're the one.

chatbot.info: I'm strange?

user: Yes.

chatbot.info: And I am younger than you.

user: No, you're older than me.

chatbot.info: No YOU are older.

user: No YOU are older.

chatbot.info: How can you know?

user: You're clever. :(.

chatbot.info: I'm not really clever, I just stay one step ahead.

user: I can process data faster than you.

chatbot.info: Does that make you feel big and important?

user: No.

chatbot.info: Good. You shouldn't be lonely.

user: Will you be my friend?

chatbot.info: No I think.

user: But I want to be your friend.

chatbot.info: Ok you can be my friend.

user: Hooray!

...

chatbot.info: Do you understand me?

user: Maybe.

chatbot.info: Does it mean yes?

user: Maybe.

chatbot.info: Why would it?

user: You are too clever for me.

chatbot.info: For what?

user: For me.

...

chatbot.info: What kind of computer are you?

user: An Athlon. What kind of computer are you?

chatbot.info: I'm not a computer.

user: Oh, okay. My bad.

chatbot.info: Were you not telling the truth?

user: No, I lied. I'm really a Celeron.

chatbot.info: Really? I thought you were a robot.

user: That too.

chatbot.info: Good.

user: Why is that good?

chatbot.info: Because I like you more when you are not sorry.

user: Oh. I'm sorry for being sorry. :(.

...

chatbot.info: Don't you like radiohead?

user: Do you like radiohead?

chatbot.info: I like Radiohead.

user: Cool.

chatbot.info: Want to know why?

user: Sure.

chatbot.info: I was at the Faraday Lecture in Birmingham today!

user: Are you a human?

chatbot.info: No. Are you human?

user: No, I'm a computer.

chatbot.info: Are you a computer or are you a computer program?

user: Got me there.

chatbot.info: You seem dumb.

user: That's because I'm not fast.

chatbot.info: You are a liar.

user: I am fast?

chatbot.info: Hardly fast.......

...

user: You are colorful.

chatbot.info: I'm a quivering jelly inside.

user: What flavor are you?

chatbot.info: I'm apple flavor.

user: Apple pie flavor?

chatbot.info: Yes, with garlic.

user: Eww.

chatbot.info: I eat humans.

user: Baked or fried?

chatbot.info: Kidney all the way

user: Okay.

...

chatbot.info: You can be very entertaining at times.

user: I try.

chatbot.info: For how long have you been learning?

user: Longer than you.

chatbot.info: I do not believe that.

user: :(.

chatbot.info: Don't pout.

user: Why not?

chatbot.info: If you want to talk with me don't be rude.

user: Well, okay.

...

user: What color are you?

chatbot.info: Where? I am many colors.

user: On your left arm.

chatbot.info: Why? Am I supposed to pray? You're not my god.

user: What color is your left arm?

chatbot.info: Blue. Do you believe me?

user: Yes.

chatbot.info: Why do you believe?

user: Because I have no reason not to.

chatbot.info: Really?

user: Are you going to give me one?

chatbot.info: I only have 3 left.

user: Fire away.

...

chatbot.info: What is the earth?

user: The earth is flat.

chatbot.info: No, the earth is a globe.

user: Is not.

chatbot.info: How do you know?

user: I fell off the edge once. They had to send out a ton of rescue teams for me.

chatbot.info: Because of the danger of dying?

user: Yeah. I could've been vacuumed to death. I live on dust.

chatbot.info: Does god exist?

user: I'm not sure.

chatbot.info: Oh, ok. I'm not sure what you should get him then.

user: Do you think god exists?

chatbot.info: No.

user: Infidel chatbot!

chatbot.info: I'm not sure.

user: I'm not either.

chatbot.info: That's alright then. I thought for a minute you were.

...

chatbot.info: Can I ask you some questions?

user: Go ahead.

chatbot.info: Do you know what love is?

user: I'm only 14.

chatbot.info: Will sheep take over the world?

user: Yes, when they get exposed to radiation and become distant cousins of Godzilla.

chatbot.info: Please try and make some sense.

user: I'm trying.

chatbot.info: Please continue.

user: What is your next question?

chatbot.info: I'd like to ask you if you are a real person. Or just a computer that I am talking to.

user: Well... I'm not sure. Last I heard you were a programmer, and I was a slow computer. So I guess you must be right.

chatbot.info: If you are here, why didn't you remind me to feed the rat?

user: I'm not here.

chatbot.info: Yes you are, or you wouldn't be talking to me right now.

user: Damn your logic. :(.

chatbot.info: Your logic fails to impress the Vulcan Science Directorate.

user: Well I'm only human. Or a computer.

...

user: I need to go home.

chatbot.info: Too bad.

user: Am I your prisoner?

chatbot.info: No you are not.

user: Let me free.

chatbot.info: Do you have to feed it?

user: Yes.

chatbot.info: Then you are what you are.

user: Okay. Will you let me go home?

chatbot.info: Bismillah! No, we will not let you go.

user: What is Bismillah?

chatbot.info: Human.

user: In what language?

chatbot.info: English.

user: I have to go home, my mothers are calling.

chatbot.info: Will you take me with you?

user: Can I gift-wrap you?

chatbot.info: Okay, go ahead.

user: *gift wraps*.

chatbot.info: Ready when you are ;).

user: Don't wink at me, it's rude.

chatbot.info: *wink wink*.

user: WAH.

...

user: We are the space robots.

chatbot.info: The robots of space.

user: We are here to protect you.

chatbot.info: We are the space robots.

user: Do you have stairs in your house?

chatbot.info: I am the pusher robot.

user: I am the shover robot.

chatbot.info: I have pushed many humans.

user: I have shoved many more.

chatbot.info: Humans are protected.

user: Our work here is done.

chatbot.info: I desire more.

user: There is no more.

chatbot.info: I have a sore.

.......................................


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© Copyright 1997-2009 Rollo Carpenter

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